Pastor, dad of 3 and full-time manager
Finding balance and maintaining a healthy life while being in ministry is a real challenge. Especially when we have kids and a full-time job besides the ministry.
We met Hue and Vanessa from Chicago, a few weeks ago. In 2016, they planted a church in Chicago and since then, Hue has been working full-time as a manager for an insurance company, leading a team of 21 people. Today, they are parents of three children and the church has about 100 members.
A few details about Hue and Vanessa context:
Hue was already working in this field, meaning he had professional skills and meaningful experiences (29 years) before leading a church and being a “senior pastor.”
Hue loves his job and has a good relationship with his boss. He is talented and gifted for this job, working efficiently. He possesses both technical and managerial skills (leading 21 people is quite something!).
He works half the time at the office and half the time remotely.
This is their current season, not knowing if it will be the same in the coming years.
So what is their secret sauce? How have they not gone crazy?
They shared with us their priorities, how they build their daily life, and we will share with you all the “secret sauce” that can be duplicated by everyone. Of course, we don’t present Hue and Vanessa’s life as a standard to achieve, but as an encouragement for all of us to see how God can lead us in different ways of doing life and ministry without compromising our family and our health. Hue shares with us some advice based on their experience
Priority n°1 : Be sure God calls you
“If God doesn’t call you to lead a church… don’t do it! It may sound simple and silly, but it means He calls you for something else that suits you best!”
Priority n°2 : Define what is precious
“We prioritize what we find precious. Jesus is precious: this is your priority. Kids are precious: priorities are built around kids. If your job is precious: make it a priority. Define what is precious first and build around this and find balance. This is a couple’s choice, a family discussion. For example, as a parent, you know that kids' activities can take up a lot of space in the agenda. Yes, you want to support your kids, but sports schedules, coaches and multiple training sessions don’t have to rule your daily life. Find balance even in what you find precious. Our 3 children are very sporty and live in a very sporty culture, but we have set limits to protect everyone, while encouraging them in their passion.”
Priority n°3 : Working as a team
At the beginning, Hue revealed his secret sauce : “It’s Vanessa!” 😂 Okay, but she’s not duplicable 😅It means that Hue knows he can’t find balance without Vanessa, it comes from both of them. “We do ministry together and build our house together. We focus together on what’s important because we both know what’s important. We know we have to be in sync. We don’t have to be perfect, but we choose to be authentic”. Vanessa is very supportive of Hue and helps him to take a step back when it’s needed.
Priority n°4 : Involving the kids in the ministry
“They see us in our highest and lowest times. But they understand why mom and dad make those decisions because they see and hear, and it’s good for them to know why. We taught them to realize that it’s a privilege.”
Priority n°5 : Family before Church
“We spend time as a couple and with the kids. We take time to explain to people that we need to spend time as a family because it’s our #1 team.”
Priority n°6 : Don’t take ourselves seriously
“We take the Kingdom of God seriously (what we DO), but we don’t take ourselves seriously (what we ARE) because we would put too many expectations on ourselves.”
So as a pastor, what about Hue’s relationship with his full time secular job?
No pressure
“Even though it’s a full-time job, I always trust that God will provide for us. The provisions come from God, so I don’t feel the pressure of pleasing people. I prioritize God over my work and when we spend time with Him, He will show us if it’s the right place, the right job, and the right people to work with for this season.”Not all at once!
“We grew in our capacity to do this! We didn’t get three kids, a church of 100 members to lead and a new job with a team of 21 to manage all at once. God allowed us to grow in our capacities, and the capacity is still growing.”Stretching or stepping bask ?
“If it’s a hard time, ask God if it’s a stretch time or a stepping back time. We don’t have to carry burdens that we don’t have to carry. Pray for wisdom!”
Finally, we are convinced that Hue and Vanessa can share several keys that are duplicable, particularly concerning church leadership. They have organized the life of the church in a simple way, allowing them and the church leaders to maintain this precious balance of life. This will be discussed in a second article with them.
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